It all started out just an ordinary day. The New Directions were all singing the musical scale while Kerwin was playing the piano. Everything was going well, until the police came in. “There he is!” one of the officers said pointing to Andy. Andy was quickly handcuffed by one of the cops. “What the hell did I do???” Andy asked. “You’re under arrest for rape and attempted murder.” “How do they even know that?” Gareth thought. He turned around and saw Trae wink at him. Unfortunately, Gareth wasn’t the only one who saw that. Danny was glaring at Trae, hate in his eyes. “But I would never do such a thing!” Andy exclaimed. Even Gareth was wondering if it was for sure Andy. He started wondering if both him and Trae may have jumped to conclusions before really thinking it through. I guess I’ll find out in court.
Coach Sis was absent from Cheerios practice yet again! It had been two weeks since she had been present to help them to prepare for their upcoming competition. As the girls were sitting on the bleachers, waiting and wondering, Principal Sasha arrived. “Greetings to you all,” he said. “May I have your attention please?” The girls stopped talking. “Due to unknown reasons, Coach Sylvester has left Mckinley High. Every single one of the Cheerios started clapping. All except one. “Wait,” said Gauri. “Who’s gonna take over the Cheerios?” Sasha took a deep breath. He had been waiting for this moment. He quickly ripped off his dress suit revealing a blue tracksuit. “I am.” The girls were all confused. Some started giggling, some were just shocked. “Principal Osbourne,” Gauri said. “No offense, but what do you know about cheerleading?” Sasha gasped. “Are you kidding me I know everything about cheerleading! Back in high school, I was captain of the varsity cheerleading team.” “Really, because I always thought cheerleading was for GIRLS,” snapped Gauri. “Oh, they’ll take anybody if they’re as amazing as I was.” “Well then!” Gauri said. “How about you show us how good you are?” Sasha smiled. “I was hoping you’d say that.” He turned on the stereo next to him. He began to sing “Hot and Cold” by Katy Perry as he did complicated tricks and exceptional dancing. After he was finished the girls were all blown away. “Principal Osbourne,” Lena said smiling. “Welcome to the Cheerios!” Everybody stood up and clapped as Sasha bowed. As weird as it seemed, Sasha had the potential to be a better coach than Sis ever was!
“It was so weird,” explained Gauri to the rest of the glee club. “What do you think happened to Sis anyways?” “Well Curry, I thought you’d never ask!” came a voice. The voice, of course, belonged to the evil Sis Sylvester. “The director of The Unitards, some queer glee club named after a one-pieced garment for whatever reason, recently had a heart attack after eating six too many Triple Stacks at Wendy’s. I found it quite strange, I didn’t even know people still ate at Wendy’s. I mean, who would want to go to a restaurant owned by some creepy ginger, who might steal your soul at any minute. Anyways, I called them up, and I asked if they would like for me to take over.” “But why?” asked Jade. “Why else would I do such a thing, because I’m Sis Sylvester and I can’t have you guys win at Sectionals. I want the glee club GONE.” “Right when I thought you had a sudden change of heart, you go out and do something like this. It doesn’t surprise me because YOU Sis, are a terrible person! How could you do something like that to these kids?” Kerwin asked. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t hear a word you just said,” Sis said. “I was too distracted by my sudden craving for crab rangoon. I probably smelled it on your breath because clearly, it’s the only food that you Asian people ever eat. Anyways, good luck at sectionals!” Sis walked away laughing, leaving Kerwin shaking his head.
“And why did you take a picture?” Gaby asked. “I wanted to show it to you people to make sure Andrew Ross pays the consequences.” “And may I SEE that photo?” Gaby asked. “Of course,” sighed Jack. He walked up to the judge, turned on his phone and showed her the picture. She looked at and and finally said “Very well. By the power invested in me, I sentence Andrew Ross to Allen County Juvenile Detention Center for the next two years. After your term is up, we will consider whether or not you should go to prison!” She banged her mallet, and it was over. After everyone left, Gareth and Trae walked over to Jack. “Why did you do that?” Gareth asked Jack. “I may be an asshole,” Jack said. “But I couldn’t let that guy who’s an even bigger asshole than me get away with something as serious as rape. Still gonna crush you guys at sectionals.” “Looking forward to it,” Gareth said smiling. Jack and Gareth both left and right when Trae turned around, Danny was right behind him. “Meet me in the auditorium after school!” he said; he had a mean expression on his face. “Um... okay,” Trae said, and he walked away, feeling very scared.
Fefe Riddell walked into the women’s restroom when she saw Sis standing there waiting for her. “Why hello there!” she said cheerfully. “Would you like a fast way to make one hundred dollars fast?” Fefe was confused. “Ever heard of the head Cheerio, Gauri Daniels?” “No,” Fefe answered. “I’m a new student here, so I really don’t know anyone.” “Oh, well she’s Indian, and she smells like Tandoori-chicken all the time. You can’t miss her.” “Okay...” Fefe said. “So what do you want me to do?” “I want you to go into the choir room and say the following to her very loudly...”
“You wanted to see me?” Trae was walking onto the stage of the auditorium. “I’m gonna get right to the point. You were the one who called the cops on my boyfriend.” “Boyfriend?” Trae asked. “You mean Andy? I didn’t know you were gay!” “It’s called a bisexual DUMBASS!” Danny corrected. “But that’s behind the point. You send my boyfriend to juvie, you pay!” “Are you aware that your ‘boyfriend’ not only cheated on you, but he raped somebody? Why WOULDN’T I call the cops?” Trae argued. “Cheated or not, you’re still gonna pay!” Danny said swinging a punch into Trae’s face. Trae had some anger issues, so if somebody did something that yanked his chain, he’s not afraid to fight back. Trae kneed Danny in the crotch and watched him fall to the ground. Trae also got down to the ground and started throwing punches into Danny’s face. Both of them had bloody noses now. Danny started choking Trae when he was interrupted by somebody. “As entertaining as that was, I’m gonna have to stop you guys.” It was Sis. “What are you doing here?” asked Danny who just let go of Trae’s neck. “Well, I happened to get your entire reenactment of the fight scene from “The Matrix” on camera, and I think I’m gonna send it to the judges for sectionals. They’d love to see two sweaty boys fighting over a singing rapist. I guess I won’t be seeing you guys at sectionals.” “Okay disqualify us, I don’t see what you would gain,” Trae said. “Yeah, we still have plenty of members.” “I’m sorry but I don’t think you’re right, Bisexual Danny Zuko, because last time I checked, Juan quit, Gauri got kicked out, Andy got arrested, and you two are disqualified.” “Wait, Juan quit?” “Yeah, he finally gave up chasing his Muslim Curry and decided to continue his fantasy by masturbating in the locker room thinking about what could’ve been. Now I know that neither of you got educated in math because you were both far too busy using YOUR OWN mental calculator thinking about who’s sleeping with who and who’s gay and who’s just bi curious while at the same time singing songs by Boys to Men, but with losing 5 members out of 17, you are away from not competing. I would say see you at sectionals, but I don’t think that will be the case!” Sis left feeling so proud of herself while Trae yelled “Well it’s not gonna work! Twelve members is enough to compete, and nobody else is going to leave!”
“Lot of empty chairs around here,” Naomi said sadly looking around. “I don’t get it,” Sarah said. “How did we lose THIS many people?” “Sis is why,” Kerwin answered. “She is so dedicated to the New Directions not winning, that she went out of her way to make sure that all these people won’t compete. “But that’s alright! I made sure I DIDN’T give Sis our setlist to make sure that neither The Unitards or The Warblers can get away with cheating. And with the Warblers winning last year’s sectionals, they picked out the theme. Classic rock!” The glee club clapped. “So these are the songs we’re gonna sing.”
“You’re doing WHAT?” Skyler asked Drew while they were in the library. “I’m quitting the glee club,” Drew responded. “But, why?” Skyler asked in shock. “Glee club used to be fun, a place for us to open our hearts and sing, and I don’t feel that way about it anymore.” “But you and Jade made up!” Skyler said. “And you and I are still bros...” “That’s the point!” Drew exclaimed. “I don’t want to be your bro! As impossible as it is, I wanna be more than bros! And seeing you every day reminds me of that even more!” A tear was going down his cheek. “And Gina, I don’t know what she thinks of this and ever since that day I kissed you in the choir room, glee club has been a living hell! And I am the cause of all this. I need to leave.” “You think you’re helping the glee club by leaving? You’re not! It will just make us lose sectionals and everybody will be in even more... well hell.” “I’m sorry, Skyler,” he said, now full on crying. “But I have to go.” Drew ran off and Skyler started crying, too. Gina walked it. “Skyler, what’s wrong?” Skyler said nothing and just gave Gina a big hug. “It’ll be okay, Skyler,” Gina said. “It’ll be okay.”
“Alright guys! This is it!” Kerwin announced. They were at LPAC (Lima Performing Arts Center), and it was the first time the New Directions have gone to sectionals in several, several years. “The Unitards will be performing in about 20 minutes. Let’s have a quick roll call. “Skyler!” “Here!” Skyler replied. “Jade!” “Here!” “Gareth!” “Here!” “Trae!” “Here!” “Drew!” Silence. “Drew!” Kerwin repeated. “Um, Mr. Dean?” Skyler said awkwardly. “Yes, Skyler?” Kerwin asked. “Drew decided to quit the glee club.” Kerwin’s jaw dropped.
Everybody knew it was officially starting when the announcers voice came through the speakers. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 2013 Midwest Show Choir Sectionals Competition!” Everybody in the audience started clapping. “And now, introducing, from Defiance, Ohio, The Unitards!” Everybody in the audience started cheering, and Sis stood up and yelled as loud as she could, “LET’S KICK SOME ASS!” The Unitards walked onto the stage. They began to sing The Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks lead by Jordan “Jordz” Roberts. The performance was very well done and made the New Directions very nervous. After the song ended, Sis walked over to Kerwin and said, “PSY? You and the glee club can kiss my ass!” Then she walked back to her seat right before the announcer said, “We will take a brief intermission followed by The Dalton Academy Warblers’ performance!” Kerwin took a deep breath. “I’m sorry guys,” he said sadly. “But we’re gonna have to forfeit.”
The glee club sadly walked up to the judge panel. “May I help you?” one of the judges asked. “Unfortunately,” Kerwin sighed. “Due to the lack of members, the New Directions are unable to compete. We have to drop out of the competition.” “No you don’t came a voice!” It was Drew. “Sorry for wasting your time ma’am, the New Directions can very well compete as they now have twelve members.” He smiled and Jade ran up and hugged him. Everybody in the glee club started celebrating and giving Drew’s hugs, until the Warblers were called to the stage. “You guys should sit back down,” said one of the judges. “Best of luck to you!”
The New Directions may have been back, but they were still just a nervous. Seeing the Warblers going on stage, they wondered what they had in store. They found out moments later when they started their first song. It was Never Gonna Give You up by Rick Astley, and it was fantastic! Jack was singing lead with the rest of them singing backup.“Dude we’re screwed,” Luke whispered into Gareth’s ear. Gareth just sighed and put his head down. After the song ended, they began to sing Barracuda by Heart. This time, Jack was on vocal rest, while Manuel, Hinton, Salar, and Willow sang the lead parts for the song. The Warblers’ performance got a standing ovation; even Lena stood up and cheered. “Why are you applauding them, Lena?” Hayley asked. “Yeah!” Drew said. “They’ve been nothing but crap to us.” “I know,” Lena agreed. “But shouldn’t WE be the better people?” Kerwin smiled at Lena’s support for the rival team and nodded. “She’s right,” he said. “Everybody stand up!” Everybody did so as they saw Hinton look over at the New Direction. He looked confused at first, but then smiled at them. “What are you doing?” Jack asked. “They’re the enemies!” “Clearly they’re not,” Hinton replied. “And they’re being miles nicer than you’ve ever been.” The Warblers left the stage as the New Directions walked over to the green room.
“Alright!” Kerwin announced. “Let’s welcome Drew back to the glee club!” Everybody cheered, and some others gave high fives to him. “Emma and Luke, get in your spots, and Drew, the setlist is no different than it was before you quit, so no worries!” Everybody got into their positions, as Skyler helped Drew adjust his tie. “Skyler,” Drew said. “I’d like to apologize for the way I’ve acted towards you lately,” Drew said. “What do you mean?” Skyler asked. “You have a crush on me, not that weird. I totally know what it’s like to have a crush on somebody of another sexual orientation.” “Really?” Drew asked. “Yeah!” Skyler answered. “I liked this one girl in middle school, total lesbian!” “You don’t like Lena, do you?” Drew asked. “No, why?” Skyler replied. “Forget it. But you are into Gina, right?” Skyler shrugged. “Maybe. But just know, that you are my best friend, and starting tomorrow, I’m gonna work on finding you a boyfriend.” “Why?” Drew asked. “So I’ll leave you alone?” “So you can be happy,” Skyler corrected. Drew smiled. “I promise, that I’ll start leaving you alone.” “Don’t worry about it!” Skyler replied. “Break a leg man.” He patted him on the back and walked away as Gina approached Drew. “You’re not actually gonna leave him alone are you?” she asked. Drew shook his head. “He’s totally gay,” he replied. “It’s just gonna take me, to help him realize it.” Gina rolled her eyes and walked away.
“You look beautiful,” Luke said. Emma turned around. “Oh, thanks!” she said blushing. Luke looked down. “Why did I have to say that, now things are even MORE awkward!” he thought. “You look pretty snazzy yourself.” She let out a giggle. “Did I really just say ‘snazzy’?” she thought to herself. “What the hell is wrong with me?” Neither of them really knew why things were so awkward between them. “Break a leg,” Emma said. “I love you,” Luke replied boldly. “Um.. thanks,” Emma said, unsure of what else to say. Thankfully, the music started playing, which was, of course, their cue for when to start. Luke and Emma both walked onto the stage, and began to sing Separate Ways by Journey. For some reason, all the awkwardness went away when they sang. Even though the song was about two people growing further apart, both of them felt as if they were growing closer together. After the audience finished cheering, the rest of the glee club came onto the stage. “Ladies and gentlemen, the New Directions!” Luke announced, which was followed by even more applause. As they were still clapping, Emma quietly whispered “I love you too,” and Luke smiled. The glee club immediately started to sing a mashup of Carry on my Wayward Son by Kansas and You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. The lead soloists were Hayley, Lena, Gareth, Sarah, Paul, and Naomi. The smoke machines turned on, and the intro to Dreams by Van Halen began (which is sung by Skyler, Gina, Drew, and Jade). Much like the Warblers’ number, the New Directions got a standing ovation. Hinton was the first to stand up, and Jack was one of the only, non-crippled people not to.
The 12 individuals returned to the green room, celebrating their spectacular performance. “We so got this!” Jade announced after the curtain closed. “I do think that we have a very good shot,” Kerwin agreed. “I just hope the judges root for underdogs.” “Oh my god you guys were so good!” Trae ran into the green room hugging nearly every person he passed by. “What are you doing here!?” Gareth asked excitedly. “I may not be able to compete in Sectionals, but I sure as hell can watch it!” he laughed. “And where’s Danny?” Drew asked. “Oh, I don’t think Danny will be coming back,” Trae said sadly. “Or at least not anytime soon. But once my one week suspension is over (which is tomorrow), I will be BACK!” “And we will welcome you with open arms,” Kerwin said. With all the attention on Trae, Jade pulled Gina aside and started whispering. “I do not think it is healthy for Drew to be crushing on a straight guy,” she said. “I know!” Gina agreed. “And I’m sure it drives Skyler absolutely crazy!” “We need to hook Drew up with another guy,” Jade said. “I want what’s best for him.” “Ditto!” said Gina. “We should bring him on a double date!” “Double date?” Jade asked “With who?” “Me with Skyler and...” “Drew with Paul!?” Jade finished. “Paul?” Gina asked. “I’ve seen the way he looks at Drew all the time. He’s totally into him!” “Alright, if you say so,” Gina said. “You wanna ask him?” “Fine,” Jade said, walking over towards Paul. “What were you guys talking about?” Skyler asked Gina. “What are you doing this Friday?” Gina asked him. “You asking me out?” Skyler asked. “No,” Gina said quickly. “But if I were, what would you say?” “I would say, I’d love to,” Skyler replied. “Good,” Gina said. “Then it would be a date.” “I would be looking forward to it,” Skyler said before leaving. Confused, Skyler came back. “Just to be clear, we really are going on a date, right?” “Yes!” Gina laughed. “Okay.” Skyler started laughing too. Both of them were now laughing hysterically as they walked away in opposite directions. “What are you laughing about?” Luke asked him. “I have no idea,” Skyler replied. “I know that laugh,” Luke said. “It means you’re in love.”
“Hey Paul,” Jade approached. “Hey Jade,” Paul responded. He was kinda scared. He was always worried that Jade would figure out you-know-what. “You wanna go on a date?” she asked. “Um.. sorry,” Paul responded. “You’re not my type.” “Not with me,” Jade said. “With Drew.” Paul’s mouth dropped. “Drew?” “Yeah,” Jade said. “I know you like him.” “Uh.. how do you know that?” “I can just tell things like that,” Jade said. “You’ve been friends with Drew all your life, and you thought he was into you,” Paul said. “Shut up,” Jade said laughing. “So what do you say? Ask Drew to Breadstix, Friday night?” “I can’t,” Paul said under his breath. “Why not?” “Because,” he said. “I’m not out of the closet yet!” Paul walked away, crying.
The judges were all at their panel getting ready to discuss this year’s champions when the Warblers arrived on stage and started singing The Final Countdown by Europe and are later joined in by both the New Directions and the Unitards. This entire song goes on during the judges’ dialogue. Of course, the judges could not hear the song, as it was all just an imagination.
“So should we get started?” Jay asked. The three judges (Jay Warner, Jon Brockett, and Molly Tilden) were all discussing who the winning team of the competition will be, and who will move on to Regionals. “The Unitards were great, but I don’t think they stand a chance against the other two glee clubs,” Molly said. Jay nodded. “I agree,” he said. “The New Directions should be the winners.” “Are you kidding me? The New Directions were as untalented as a dying manatee!” Jon exclaimed. “With herpes.” “‘They were terrible.’ What do you mean they were terrible?” Jay argued. “The New Directions had everything. Heart, power...” “But no talent!” Jon said. “And don’t say I don’t have good taste, because I am the coach of Vocal Adrenaline, the best glee club in the country! The only thing that the New Directions can beat is their meat, and I’m pretty sure they don’t even do a very good job at that-” “I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Molly said. “The New Directions were fantastic!” “You see?” Jay said. “However,” Molly continued. “The Warblers were exceptional! I think they deserve to win.” “I couldn’t agree more!” Jon said. “The Warblers are a wonderful glee club, and I look forward to beating them at Nationals.” Jay sighed. “So I guess it’s official,” Molly said. “The Dalton Academy Warblers are the winners of this year’s Sectionals competition!”
“That’s a shame,” Jay said. “The Warblers shouldn’t win at all. Even if their performance was better, they are nasty people! Did you know that the captain, Jack, outed one of the New Directions members just to make his life miserable?” Molly’s jaw dropped. “He outed one of them?” Jay nodded. “Well now I’m starting to consider changing my vote!” The singing stopped from all glee clubs as Jay asks, “Well Molly? Are you sticking with the Warblers, or would you like to change your vote?”